(2)

In the next few days we spent majority of the time snuggling our sweet ray of sunshine. The difference between a child an adult having surgery is incredible, Mal bounced back the very next day. Although when she woke up from surgery she lost her little baby cry, we also gained a very very big brave little girl. It took days for the swelling to go down, she gained almost a whole pound from the surgery alone. We received news that day that Mallory had NO CANCER IN HER BONES! One little piece of the puzzle, we had to wait on the pathology from the tumor, and also the MIBG, and bone marrow to know exactly what we were dealing with. After much reading and research, we knew what we wanted, no neuroblastoma in the bone marrow or bones, we wanted favorable histology, and no m-nyc amplification for the best possible news. The waiting game was the worst.

They prepared us for going home by showing us how to change the patch on her chest (which we had to do every 4 days until she was 6 months old), flush her lines with VCH every morning, and she would be started on many different medications. At the time I felt a huge pain of disapointment at the fact that they could not remove the other tumor. I know that the surgery would have put her at risk, that she would be on medication for the rest of her life, but there are very few cases of double adrenal tumors. And we just wanted our daughter to live, we would deal with whatever life gave us but knowing that they were leaving a significant sized tumor in her little stomach was huge to us, but you have to learn that you are there to love, and they are there to take care of everything that involves her health.

She received her first blood transfusion the day after surgery, her hemoglobin was quiet low, although she did not lose a whole ton of blood during her surgery even a little bit for a child weighing 11lbs is a lot. I'll never forget the little syringe of blood that they used, this was the first of many transfusions she would have.

We had a hard time through a lot of this with our friends and family, we tried to be as upbeat as possible. And yet when someone would walk through the door there hearts would sink, in the beginning it was the nurses that kept us going. They hugged us when we cried, they laughed with us, they've seen the best of the best and the worst of the worst. It was tough and at one point I came right out and said it's ok to cry, it's ok to laugh, it's tough for us to even begin to understand. This is our daughter and without everyone's support I honestly don't think we would have made it out as a whole.

We spent 8 days there, the longest 8 days of my life, Ryan stayed with us the entire time. We had our final meeting before we were discharged because I didn't want to go home without answers. I couldn't bear the thought of having a sick child, of having to take her home without knowing what they were going to do for her. We met with an oncologist (which I won't say her name but trust me I still hate the lady), our social worker, our discharge nurse, and two of our other nurses. We were told that the preliminary pathology report was showing no sign of n-myc amplification and favorable histology, this was not a for sure answer but from what they could see it was looking in our favor. I still didn't want to bring her home, honestly you had us a big pile of SHIT and expect us to just "deal with it", the oncologist said to me "If you can't take care of her, I'm sure we can find someone that can". At that point I wanted to reach across the table and punch that lady in her face. I remember saying to our social worked "DO YOU HAVE A KID WITH CANCER? KIDS DIE FROM CANCER" and he in his sunshine and lollipops attitude says to me "We don't like to think that way". Well of course you don't, it's not your kid.


We got to go home for 1 day after that, I had a bad taste in my mouth for some of the people we had worked with but when they gave us our Oncologist I was pleased. We have Dr. Axtell, which some of the people I've talked to don't care for him, but we LOVE him. I told him straight up that we didn't want the "whole package of reports", when they got information we wanted it good, bad and ugly.. He is a no bullshit kind of guy, he is incredibly smart, and from the 1st time we met him we had nothing but respect for him.

We spent our first day at home, feeling like new parents. New parents with no "manual" for what to expect. Our expectations where no longer there, we just wanted her to live.

The Mallory Story (Part 1)

We had our perfect little wedding last week August 25th on Saturday.

From each detail of the wedding, to the ceremony, to the reception, it couldn't have been any better.

This past year had its good moments, its bad ones, and now we're onto the amazing ones.

 

I think back to last year, I was around 38 anxious weeks pregnant with our 2nd beautiful daughter. I had a rough August with being pregnant, between pre-term contractions and absolutely 0 sleep, I was so ready! It amazes me how much life changed the day she was born. She was such a sweet little girl, with big chubby cheeks, the smallest newborn whimper, and everything couldn't have gone more perfect with my labor and delivery.   She was a perfect 7lbs, 10 ounces and 20.5 inches long! And in my opinion she looked so different from her big sis. I can't believe in a little over 2 weeks we're going to be celebrating this beautiful little girl's Birthday. Little did we know that she would have one hell of a 1st year.

When she was 2 weeks old, I fell asleep on the couch she started to whimper and I went to nurse her. I then said to Ryan "Please take Mal, somethings not right". I put my hand on my stomach and experienced some of the worst pain of my life, so bad that after 3 minutes Ryan called an ambulance. When I arrived at the hospital they did an ultrasound and found that I had gallstones and pancreatitis on top of it. I spent the next 3 days on antibiotics and had surgery to remove my gallbladder. We stayed with my mom for a week following surgery.

Mal and I hit a big bump in the road when it came to nursing. She would wake up every hour or less to nurse, it seemed like she was never going to eat more. Believing it was my supply that caused this issue I went to her doctors office and was prescribed a medication to up my milk supply but instead I just walked around with way too much and Mal was still taking the same. After 6 weeks we then went in again and she was prescribed Zantac, thinking that possible it was because she had reflux (although she never puked, I had thought it may be just a bit of an upset tummy since her big sis suffered from extreme colic as a baby). After 7 weeks of fighting it, I threw in the towel on nursing. We went in for her 8 week checkup, at this point she was taking no more than an ounce of formula at a time, which was irritating but manageable. Her doctor then did her 2 month well child visit, checked her tummy, walked out, came back in and decided to do another check. He felt like there might be an enlarged kidney or spleen. I was told that we would be setting up an ultrasound at Helen Devos to check to see if anything was going on.She received her 2 month vaccines and we were on our way. I always call Ryan on our way home from these appointments, to let him know all the cute little statistics and such. For Mal eating so frequently even though it was a little bit at a time she was gaining weight like a normal child. I couldn't get the ultrasound out of my head.

When we got home from the doctors office Mallory started crying, and crying, and crying. Something I had never experienced with Jillian, usually she just took them like a champion, but then the little red flags started going up even higher. I had gotten a call from Helen Devos about setting up the ultrasound, we had 2 options to go in the next day at 7:30am or to wait for 2 weeks. Thinking that we didn't want the weight of this to hang over us for 2 weeks we would just opt for the next day apt. That night we did a google search about "enlarged spleen or kidneys" well the first thing that pops up is "CANCER". We stopped searching right away, we couldn't bear the thought. That night I remember balling and praying to God that our daughter would not have cancer. I snuggled Mallory all night long, I cried, and cried and cried.

The next morning Ryan took off of work so that he could be there for the ultrasound. We entered the room and the lady that was doing it was very sweet. She told us that they would call us with the results in a week or so. We had small talk for a little while, she started scanning Mal's left side and STOPPED TALKING, she got up from her chair and told us she had to have the radiologist look at these a minute. My heart started racing, I felt sick to my stomach and we were told nothing at all. She came back in the room and told us that she would be scanning her right side next, still never saying a word to us, she then left the room again and came back with the radiologist for him to scan some more. We were then lead to a different room and told to wait. Knowing that we would not be recieving any news in the next week, knowing that it was entirely possible that we had the kid with cancer was more than we could bear. We sat there for what seemed like an eternity when we were told Mallory's pediatrician was on the phone and had to talk to us.

I remember just breaking down when he said "They found 2 large masses on Mallory, we're going to figure this out, we'll be praying." My heart sank, it shattered, it fell to pieces. We had no idea if it was cancer, but there were masses, what else could it be? We were introduced to a slew of nurses and an oncologist. They had given us contrast to give to her so we could get a CT in, I held her down as they attempted to put an IV in, which failed to work, I just remember the blood from that alone. How could I take anymore. We were escorted to the 9th floor which is the Hemotology / Oncology inpatient floor of the hospital. By now we had assumed she had cancer, no one could say for sure at this point. Mallory then had a CT scan done, a urine check, and an echocardiogram. We were introduced to Dr. Kurt a pediatric oncologist and Dr. DeMarco who was working with us the whole day. Our families were sitting with us when they broke the news. Mallory had a tumor the size of a baseball on her left adrenal gland and a slightly smaller one on her right side. They were pretty confidant that it was Neuroblastoma because of where the tumors were located and the fact that her catacholomine levels were very elevated. We had never heard of Neuroblastoma. I remember skimming through a chapter of "What to expect the 1st year" and in there it states not to worry about childhood cancer, it is EXTREMELY RARE. The day she was diagnosed all bets were out the window that we no longer knew what to expect. All of our hopes and dreams of our perfect family of 4 just weren't going to happen, our winter of baking cookies, drinking hot chocolate, and doing anything normal just disapeered.

That was the 1st time I'd ever seen Ryan cry. We both felt completely helpless.

The next day we were bombarded with different doctors. One of them is one of the top leading Neuroblastoma specialists in the field, at the time we had not known this, but she had papers for us to sign so that they could use any left over tumor tissue, extra blood, or urine to use for research. Ryan and I never 2nd guessed ourselves and signed them right away. If there was any hope that someday they'll find a cure we would do anything we could. We also met with an endocrinologist to go over the removal of both of Mal's adrenal glands and tumors, we were told that she would be placed on steroids for the rest of her life. Everytime she would get sick she would have to take more, every time she gained weight they'd have to adjust her meds. At this point we would do anything just to give us time with her, even if it meant a lifelong medication. We then were told that Mallory would have to have another ultrasound because they feared that her right adrenal tumor was connected to her Inferior Vena Cava. After the ultrasound we were told that in fact it was, that they would not removed this tumor at present time because it was a) very risky b) they believed with chemotherapy they could neuter the cancer where it sits not leaving her adrenal insufficient meaning she would not be on any sort of medication. The adrenal gland would grow to take the place of the one they were removing. She would still be placed on steroids so her body would not go into shock from the removal, but then she would be gradually weaned off from them in a few days. Ryan signed papers that allowed them to give her a blood transfusion if necessary.  This was a huge thing for both of us, a blood transfusion? She recieved her MIBG injection

We then met with Mallory's surgeon who had given us more explanations to what he would be doing. We had hoped and hoped that they could do a laproscopic surgery verses an open abdominal. But because of her sizes and the fact that the tumor was so large that would not be possible. He had hoped that because the tumor was so large that it did not begin to infuse to her stomach and from what the CT had showed it looked like it was just pressing into it. They would also be putting in her central line Broviac, honestly this scared the hell out of me. They explained it to us, we didn't have another option because her size she could not receive a port, and this would prevent her from many pokes. She would also have a bone scan and a bone marrow biopsy to rule out any more cancer spread.

I remember reading Ryan's prayers Dear God, please be with the surgeons tomorrow. Guide their hands and their minds to do the best work possible. Please let them have a productive surgery, and let Mallory come out of this stronger than ever.  Oh, and please God, if it be thy will, please let the doctors leave all that extra blood on the shelf. They won't be needing it. Amen.

To this day, my heart still hurts when I read this.

The next day was the big surgery December 1st, we were lead into a room with Mallory's anesthesiologist, she was a warm hearted person and as the tears floated down our faces she too began to cry. She told us that "I'll be the doctor when we go back, but I'm a mom too!", quiet frankly this was something we will never forget. The love from a person we had just met, that she was taking care of our little baby. They then began to take her back, I held on tight, we all kissed her, and kissed and kissed her. The prayers from around the world started flooding in, for our sweet girl. They were putting in several IV lines in case of her losing too much blood, the thought of never seeing my baby again was heart wrenching, it was the worst feeling in the world. Knowing that she might die was devastating. The took her back at 2:15, everything went flawlessly, the broviac placement and the tumor and adrenal resection. It was not infused in her stomach and when he removed it there was little spillage of tumor cells, a lot of the tumor appeared to be already dying although they could not confirm anything right away. They were able to do the bone scan but not the bone marrow, that would be done when they did her MIBG scan.

She looked nothing like our sweet little peanut, she was swollen, she no longer had her little baby newborn cry. She wallowed in pain, her stomach was covered in bandages and we felt the stab as well. Watching our daughter go through immense hell, and there was nothing we could do about it. We just had to sit and wait.

(to be continued)


I have never fully written out the full story of Mallory's diagnosis, treatment, and remission. With this month being Childhood Cancer Awareness Month and Mallory's Birthday I thought it would be an appropriate time, I plan to elaborate more and more but for now is my rough sketch.

Some more Wedding Pictures :-)

We're MARRIED!

I'll write a big long blog post later about our absolutely PERFECT day. It rocked!

Clear Scans

It's official Mal is still NED! No active neuroblastoma! What a great beginning to our weekend!

Our Crazy Week :-p

Monday :

We spent the day CLEANING house, which included scrubbing, washing, and doing laundry. My house is sparkling clean now :-) What a relief! Now we can go about our week and come back from the honeymoon with a nice clean house.

We started Mal's SSKI drops.

This weekend I finished EVERYTHING for the wedding so this week I get to relax, well sort of.

Tuesday (TODAY!):

I had to wake up at 6 to get ready to bring Mal to Helen Devos at 7:30, she had to have her MIBG injection. It was heartbreaking, the poor punky had to be poked 3 times to get her IV started. They only needed it for 2 minutes while the injected the Radioactive Isotope into her for tomorrows scans. She screamed and cried, and cuddled with me. But once she got it out she went back to her happy perky self!

I ended up calling clinic to see if they could do Mal's other IV tomorrow, I just feel more comfortable because we get the same guy everytime there. And he knows Mal is very difficult and won't poke her until he's confident that he's found a good one. Usually he gets it on the 1st try and it never takes him more than twice to get it in.

We also recieved some WONDERFUL news today about Mal's ultrasound. The cancer spots on her liver have DECREASED along with her Adrenal tumor! This is evidence that she in fact the chemo did it's job and she is STABLE! Her MIBG scan will show any active neuroblastoma cells, but with this ultrasound and low catacholomine numbers they are pretty confident that it should show nothing. So Once again we praise the LORD for these incredible results!

Wednesday: (This is my CRAZY day).

On top of the MIBG scan, we have a doctors apt for Jillian.

She was born with strabismis (lazy eye), and she wore glasses for 4 months, we patched her eye for a few months, and then she had surgery to correct it. Her eyes are PERFECTLY straight but we go in every few months for a check. She is nearsighted which means eventually she'll have glasses but I hope we can hold off until she's a little bit older. Her apt is at 8:45 and will run about 2 hours (If she cooperates)

Which poses a little bit of a scheduling conflict with Mal's scan which is at 11, the thing that stinks is Jill's eye apt is right across the street from Helen Devos but she cannot come with us to this scan. So Ryan has to bring Mal and I have to backtrack all the way home drop off Jillian and drive back up to the hospital. I haven't missed any of her procedures and I don't intend to this time either.

Mal's MIBG scan lasts about an hour, she will be sedated for the procedure, and she will be SO VERY hungry when she wakes up. But we will make do, Thank Heavens Ryan's Mom is watching Mal in the morning, she'll be able to keep her busier than I would.

Thursday : I get to do NOTHING! Ahhhhhhh a relaxing wonderful Thursday, I am looking forward to just snuggling with the girls.

Friday : Manicures & Pedicures with my Mom, Sister and Niece! It's going to be so lovely! Then we have to pick up flowers head back to my house and put together my bouquet. Then it's off to the Country Club to set up for the reception! Then Rehearsal & Dinner :-)

Saturday : I AM MARRYING MY BEST FRIEND!

(I will have some fine words for the weather man if this "thunderstorm" crap happens!)

Sweet Sweet Babe

Ryan and I talked the other night about all the things our Sweet Sweet Babe has done. It amazes me.

For 1 this little girl put up with having a tube in her chest for 6 months, something that we hated but prevented her from having to be poked countless times. We are amazed looking back on it that she did so well, but this summer we have 100% enjoyed pool time, bath time, and nakey baby crawling around the house.

Something else that amazes us is how sick she really was. To look back on it, it was all we knew, but now we KNOW, we really KNOW our daughter. The struggling to feed her day in and day out, the constant vomiting, I can't tell you how many times I would just break down because of the vomiting. Not knowing if it was chemo induced vomiting or just baby puke but now I KNOW. Since she stopped chemo 3 months ago the sweet peanut hasn't puked once.

A great big milestone is the fact that she is off the bottle and onto a sippy cup. It took her 8 months to get the hang of just drinking out of a bottle and she gave me no resistance weaning from it either. I had a subconscious dilemma with the whole "bottle weaning" because yes she did just get the hang of it, but 2 I also wanted to skip trying to wean her and quiet frankly I'm just sick of washing bottles. So with that started a 1 day only cup and it lead to many many more days of just cups. She's a champ, she really is.

She is also crawling, and not her cute little inch worm crawling she's done for the last 2 months, but full out full speed crawling! No delay there!

We thought that chemo would have a huge effect on the milestones but she's proved us wrong.

We had her vision checked a month ago, that came back AMAZING! Our dear sweet Jillian had a lazy eye and she is pretty nearsighted (she will have to have glasses again eventually), so it was something that we had to make sure Mal didn't have either. But she's got perfect eyes, we're not quiet sure we're she got those from but we'll TAKE IT!

The girls had the great waffle war this morning, their very 1st big fight. I should have known that I should have made something else for breakfast because I only had 1. Mal was not happy with her toast. This fight is a blessing, she was diagnosed almost 9 months ago, and they had a hard time adjusting to each other. When Mal stopped chemo and we were home more it was a big adjustment for all of us. It still kind of is, I still am uneasy bringing them anywhere (I did today though! GO ME!), I still haven't found my routine back. The girls have blossomed, they love each other, and everyday they remind us of this. Wether it's a big "WUV OOOO SIS" or a "WAKEY WAKE MAUI", we know. It melts my heart to see that they're finally able to bond. What an incredible thing to witness, and yes I know I have years of drama ahead of me but for know I am going to gobble up their cuteness and enjoy it as much as I can.

My sweet baby Mallory will be 1 next month, NEXT MONTH! It is a reminder to us that we are so very blessed, that God has given us an amazing little girl, she is a fighter, she is strong, but she is also dainty, sweet and amazing.

And when we say "Sweet" baby Mallory we mean it 100%, she is the sweetest, kindest, most laid back baby on the planet. Sweet is definitely fitting for her.

To my husband to be :

I never have the correct words to say when it comes to Ryan. He is charming, witty, and hilarious. 

He keeps me grounded. 

It's been a tough tough year for us, and as we move forward I am getting a little anxious about our wedding. Not because of the wedding itself but because of all the things we have learned and grown from this past year. I feel like this is such a huge step, Marriage, the weird dorky couple is finally getting married, yep you heard it right, 10 days from now I will be dropping my last name and taking his. 

I really haven't though much about the whole "marriage" aspect because I've been 100% dedicated to this relationship since he asked me to be his "girlfriend", over 7 years ago. From our first kiss, through everything and anything.

He's my best friend, he's mine. 

Marriage doesn't change a whole lot for us, it doesn't change our dedication for one another, it doesn't change our house, it doesn't change our children.. I am convinced that no storm, no rain, and nothing can come between us. We have learned a lot, for this I am grateful for. To allow the past to be just that, the past, and move forth, and to show the world we've got this. 

I do believe that marriage is important, it is a commitment that I have held dear to my heart for a very long time (well ok ever since I saw that beautiful bride ariel barbie doll in the store that my parents wouldn't let me have). This year had it's ups and downs, I've learned a lot, I've walked away with a lot. And it's time to take a deep breath and jump in with both feet.

So heck YEAH, I'm marrying my BEST BEST friend in 10 DAYS! :-) (almost 9 EEEK!)

I LOVE YOU RYAN!

Our beautiful pictures we're taken by the WONDERFUL Brittany Hubble, she will also be doing our wedding pictures which I am SUPER excited about! She did a fantastic job capturing us being super silly :-)

It's a good day :-)

Although we couldn't have scans done yesterday I am feeling much much better today. Mallory is having an AWESOME day to top it off! She is feeling 100% better, no red eyes, no cough, just a touch of a runny nose so hopefully it should be gone by tomorrow.

We have scans rescheduled for the 21st & 22nd which is the week of our wedding which completely stinks, but it is what it is. So we're just praying that she's clear, that we can keep moving forward.

Today was a good day.

Mallory has exceeded our expectations, the little girl is crawling all over the place, she is always smiling, and she just adores us all. What a blessing, what a BIG BIG blessing our kids are. They are OURS, and we love them with all of our heart. It's been a long tough road, one of which we will be on for the next 3 years but it's a road that although we never wanted to be on, we are. And we take it for what it is, God has blessed us with 2 beautiful girls and that just is more than we could ever dream of.

This is our life, it's a little crazy, it's a lot of fun, and it sure is AMAZING.

Please keep a few of our oncology friends in your prayers as their kids are still battling this terrible disease. Emily & Kady are fighting this horribly Neuroblastoma and they can use all the prayers they can get right now.

Our Wedding is in 2.5 weeks. THIS IS CRAZY to me! I've been counting down the days. I must say planning a wedding in 2 months has been a riot, something that I thought was going to be so overwhelming but I have enjoyed every moment. It's going to all come together the day of and it's going to ROCK!

Mal's birthday party is going to be AWESOME, we are still planning on a balloon launch for the 23rd of September. September is also Childhood Cancer Awareness Month, so we will be honoring many kids who have fought, are still fighting, and those who are now with God. So if you read this and want us to add your kiddo to our list of fighters please let me know!

We will have a donation jar at her party for
http://www.maxloveproject.org/collections/maxs-love-project

This is an incredible family! They have helped us so much through Mal's diagnosis and treatment and they are total ROCK STARS! So we would love to raise enough money to donate some wonderful turtles to give to Helen Devos.

Scanxiety for nothing

Well we woke up bright and early for Mal's ultrasound (liver and tumor sites) then we walked into the room where they do the MIBG radioactive isotope injection to find out because Mal has a slight cold that they were not going to inject her today but wait till she is feeling better.

I am having a big pity party, when it comes to scans I just want to get them DONE and OVER, I get stressed about them from the moment they are scheduled and now we have to wait even longer.

I've been working with a therapist for 2 months now, and we're just now breaking grounds with some of my anxiety and depression. I had a session yesterday that really helped clear my mind and instead of preparing for the "what if's" life has in store for our family I need to focus on the present and what we have right now. And today I'm just going to state it how it is "THIS FUCKING SUCKS". Excuse my language but that's how I feel.

I know we just have to wait another week or so but seriously I had prepared myself, I had the plan all set, and then life once again throws us a curve ball. I had talked to Mal's clinic nurse yesterday and she said we'd be all set if she wasn't coughing, well aparently that just wasn't the case. Let me state again "IT FUCKING SUCKS".

So instead of getting a "package" explanation of what her scans look like we get bits and pieces and last time the ultrasound showed "small spots", they did not light up on the MIBG but they are still a cause for concern, they could be dead tumor tissue they could be volcanos waiting to errupt.

So who knows, cancer, wedding planning, scans, who knows what the hell else life has in store for us. But I will state it one more time because I really just feel this way today "IT FUCKING SUCKS".

Who Would have thought?

This little girl is hanging pool side, 6 months ago we would have never dreamed she would be doing this and here she is. This is Miss Mallory, our rock star of a kid, she's got the whole world wrapped around her tiny little fingers!

Ohhh la la Vintage Little Misses

Our girls do really love each other until you make them sit together, then it's all done for! (Hence the super over dramatic "Sissy Has Cooties" faces).

Mal had clinic today, that girl has had amazing strides in the past 2 months. She started sitting, 2 weeks later crawling, 2 weeks later standing up, and now we have a CRUISER! Soon we'll have a WALKER! I would totally confess that I am not ready, but heck BRING ON THE WALKING! We've got this.

She has scans next week Tuesday & Wednesday. Ultrasound, Urine Check, & MIBG Injection (which the poor pook has to have an IV for) and then on Wednesday the big MIBG/CT scan (which she'll have to have ANOTHER iv in for). It's weird that I'm actually not nervous at all for the sedation process, it's the whole IV part of it, she doesn't sit still, half them times she's had to have them she's been poked more than once, usually around 3 times. So please pray that this goes smoothly for her. Not only waiting on the results but all the poking they have to do. I don't mind blood draws as much as an IV, especially an IV in a baby.

24 days till the wedding, am I nervous, not yet, am I totally ready, almost. It's been a crazy ride this past 7 years but I am super excited for our wedding!

Scan Time

Next order of business (besides the crazy crazy wedding planning) is Mal's scans.

August 7th is her ultrasound & MIBG injection then on the 8th is the big MIBG/CT scan.
This is her 1st scans since being deemed in remission, we are holding out a lot of hope considering her chatacolomine numbers have gone back to normal (after her little bump).

I'm a little nervous since she is a wee bit bigger and we still have to do the "no food or drink after 4:30 am" and she has to have an IV instead of being sedated through her broviac. She's a tough kiddo so I know she'll do fine and I pretty much don't get any bit stressed out with sedation anymore or blood draws. It's just a normal part of life for her and something that we have to do regardless of how much it sucks.

Just praying that she has clear scans again so we can just continue moving forward.

I am super excited in less than a month I will marry my best friend! and in less than 2 months our tiniest tiniest fighter will be 1. Seriously it's been a crazy hectic ride this year, so glad we've taken the reins and are ending it with some pretty big bangs!

Our Sweet Sweet Babe is 10 months old tomorrow.

May the angels protect you, trouble neglect you
And heaven accept you when it's time to go home
May you always have plenty, the glass never empty
And know in your belly, you're never alone

May your tears come from laughing, you find friends worth having
As every year passes, they mean more than gold
May you win and stay humble, smile more than grumble
And know when you stumble, you're never alone

Never alone, never alone
I'll be in every beat of your heart when you face the unknown
Wherever you fly this isn't goodbye
My love will follow you, stay with you, baby, you're never alone

Never Alone - Lady Antebellum w/ Jim Brickman

I am excited to announce that Ry & I are getting married on August 25th.

We are keeping it quaint, simple, small and beautiful. This is something we've wanted to do for a long time and with all of the mountains we've climbed this year it seems fitting to end it with a brand new start, the first day of the rest of our lives. We don't know what the future holds for our family but I guarantee it's got an abundance of blessings in store for us. To have our 2 little girls there to celebrate this huge milestone means the world to us. We love Jillian & Mallory with all our hearts.

And 1 month after our wedding our sweet sweet peanut will be 1! I can't believe I'm already talking about getting stuff ready for her party. When she was 2 months old we were told she had "cancer", and now we're planning some wonderful birthday shenanigans, a birthday we weren't so sure she'd have. But Here we are, planning a birthday party for our sweet sweet babe. It's going to be an open invite birthday, we would like to share this amazing day with all the people that helped us this past year. That cried with us, hugged us, sent us cards, and prayed for our family. Without you guys, I don't think we would have made it over the mountain.

She's our little SUNSHINE and we want to share her with the world! She still has at least 3 years of scans, blood draws, and urine checks before she's deemed cured but we're taking it day by day. We want the world to know who Mallory is, what she fought, and that there are so many children just like her. That are fighting for there lives, who inspire us everyday. We continue to pray that with the Lord's help we find a cure for these beautiful souls. We are very very blessed to have Mallory, to have reached this point, and we couldn't have done it without the Lord watching over us, without all of your prayers, without all of your support. So please feel free to message me on here or add me to facebook if you would like to celebrate this beautiful life with us.

We will be doing a balloon launch on this day as well, so if you cannot join us but want to celebrate please let a balloon fly high on the 23rd for the kids that are fighting or who have gained there angel wings.

She's come a long way from this day.

we make mud, we make memories

 

 

These are a bunch of my crazy Nieces and Nephews from Ry's side. I LOVE them all so dearly. The love in this family is incredible, I am so proud to say that even though I've known them for 7 years that on August 25th I will be "OFFICIAL" part of the fam! These kids have so so much love, and seeing that there lives even were effected by Mal's situation breaks my heart but it makes me so grateful that they really are just full of so much love and each time I get to see them there is never a lack of that for sure.

 So Jake, Sydy, Kel, Ben & Will you are my Rock stars! Thanks for being so Amazing!!!