Thursday, January 19, 2012

Whatever it takes

Today was a GOOD day.

Mallory had clinic this morning, low and behold they went to attempt to draw blood from her broviac (they always try before the draw it through her arm) and it WORKED! I only can hope that it continues to work for the rest of treatment. Having to hold my baby down while they draw her blood breaks my heart, this just makes it much easier.

Her labs were within reason for just being done with chemo (on the low scale but thats what chemo does) except her hemoglobin. It was at an 8.2, typically they do transfusions at 8.0 but this being said they were going to wait till Monday to do it, but I told them I wanted to get it done and over with. We could wait till Monday but that would mean Mallory would still feel crummy, she would be lethargic, and be difficult to feed and get to sleep. So now my baby has regained her color, she looks great, and is feeling much better. Each transfusion takes 3 hours once they get the blood up to the floor. It takes an hour or so for them to get the blood up to the floor so it took quiet awhile to get going but once we did we relaxed, Mallory snuggled up to me for 3 hours straight and it felt great.

Another thing I found out was the blood Mallory received today was from a blood donor through West Michigan Blood

So if you've donated recently and had A+ blood you could have helped her out!!! I am super excited about the blood drive, they are trying to come up with 2 buses for the event so more people can donate!!!

Please make an apt at the zipcode is 49508 and "goodale" as the sponsor code to sign up so we can get 2 buses going!!!

One thing I did today that I was extremely proud of was I gave my daughter a shot of Neupogen. Now I am not happy that I may have to give my daughter daily injections but if you would have asked me a month ago if I could do it, I would have said no, absolutely not, no way. And today I did it. I know that this will help her body recharge faster, and the more chemo she has the more often she will need these injections. After round 3 they are predicting she will need them everyday so I HAVE to do them. And I can. It's not fun, I don't enjoy it but I am going to do whatever it takes to help my daughter win this fight! Even if that includes injections into her sweet chubby baby thighs on a daily basis. She is strong, she's such a trooper, through all the poking and prodding this little girl is resilient, she still laughs, giggles, and melts your heart.

We now go from appointments every thursday to every Monday and Thursday while she receives the neupogen. So yes I have plans every Monday and Thursday for the next 8 weeks. On top of that we have Scans, more tests, and other appointments for Jillian (2 year check up and her eye doctor apt).

I will be consulting with her pediatrician because they believe she may have torticollis. Mally favors one side of her head and she is developing a slight flat spot on one side of her head, so hopefully they can correct it with physical therapy and some neck exercises to fix the problem. (Just what I need MORE APTS! lol)

I also would like to inform the general population that it is RUDE to park your vehicle so close to someone elses that they themselves CANNOT get into there own car without getting in on the passenger side and have to lift a baby seat over another carseat. So needless to say I am not apologizing for the note I left on your car if that was you.

Hope everyone had a PLEASANT DAY! :-)

To my Dear Friend

A lot has changed since November of 2010. There was a  baby shower was for my friend Jessica, she was a childhood friend that we lost touch with over the years, her family was a HUGE part of my life growing up, I remember so much about them. And let me tell you they are STILL amazing people to this day, although we lost touch we're starting to rebuild our relationships with there family. Through this whole ordeal with Mallory they have been there for us, they have truly just stepped up to the plate and have given our family their hands and hearts. We adore them, Thank You Nancy, Steve, Jess, Ryan and Little Landon. You are little lights to us.

God did something miraculous through Jess's baby shower, he introduced me to one of many Great people. One of them being this adorable cute petite blonde haired girl, Her name is Erika. Let me tell you something about this girl, she is AMAZING. We talked at Jess's shower about our little girls and low and behold her daughter Kylynn is only 9 days younger than our Jillian. Little did I know that this small conversation would escalate into a friendship that has developed so much since then. 

God sent me Erika, he somehow knew I would NEED her. It's all in the big picture. She facebooked messaged me about a play date with girls, and as a mom you are always hesitant about introducing your children to other kids, what if this mom doesn't agree with the way I parent? what if our kids don't get along? what if its awkward? I had only talked to her 1 time before driving up to her house for our first play date. Needless to say it took maybe a whole whooping 4 minutes to get over the nerves of mustering up the guts to start talking, and ever since then we haven't stopped. I spend more time on the phone with her than ANYONE else. We can talk for hours on end.

She relates to me, and I relate to her. We don't judge each other, we don't judge each others parenting, we help each other. We've laughed together, we've cried, we've had a great time. So what we lose our temper with our kids, we let them watch too much TV, we let them run circles around us, so what. They are good kids, no parent is perfect and we have both come to accept it. There is no "book" that teaches you to parent, our girls are totally different and in someways totally the same, and it's fun. We compare our girls, but it's not to put each other down its to celebrate there differences. Because they are different, no 2 children are the same, we accept that, we love our girls. I love Kylynn as if she was my own baby. I could give her tons of hugs and kisses because she is an AMAZING little girl.

Last night I called her while I was on my way to pick up some diet coke (no surprise there) from Family Fare, and I knew she was having a few rough days and wanted to surprise her with a bottle of wine. Her husband just changed shifts and is now on 3rd shift, making it impossible for her to get out of the house, and I'm sure if your a Mom you can image how exhausting it can be stuck in the house with a needy 2 year old for days on end. So we had some wine and we talked.

I finally figured it out, God sent me Erika to restore my faith in him. To restore my faith in religion. A lot of people have said to me that I need faith to get through these difficult times but its hard to keep faith when your child is ill. But it wasn't God or religion that made my baby sick, it was the world, it was something far from God that did this to my baby. I question my faith everyday since this has started. I am far from perfect, I do not go to church, I do not discuss religion on a daily basis, I don't acknowledge God's presence in my life. And life isn't black and white, and there is a reason why we are going through this. Erika made me realize this, that God has a plan for our family. I think this battle with Cancer not only affects my child, it affects us, it affects Jillian, and it affects my friends and family around us.

I have been brought to my knee's, I need to change. I need to have faith, I need to keep faith, I need to believe in faith. We had the path of life decided for us, our baby has Cancer. So now we have to have faith, we need to keep it, and we have to believe in it. That everything in life does in fact happen for a reason. Cancer is not what defines us as a family, it's just the beginning of what amazing things life has planned for us. This happened to our family because God knew we were strong people, that we could make a difference, and although its been a tough road, we are going to make it.

God gave me Erika because he KNEW that I would need her, he knew that she was the right person to help get me through this. That she would be the PERFECT shoulder to lean on, that she would love our family unconditionally, that she was the one person that could make a difference.

So Erika G. just so you know you are amazing, I cannot thank God enough for putting you in our life. For being a great person, for helping us through this, seriously I am a better person because of you. I am excited for the years ahead, I am excited to see what life has in store for us and our girls. Thank You Erika, Thank You.