Monday, January 30, 2012

Say a little prayer for our sweet girl

This morning we go for Mallory's follow up CT to see if the Chemo is working. I just hope for her sake she does not have to go through this much longer, you can just tell the days where she doesn't feel well. Where she is just not herself. I just want her to be better. I know we will have 2 more rounds of Chemo, but to get some more good news is what we need.

These 2 rounds have knocked her down, make her feel just icky. Her eyes get red and puffy and her skin gets super pale. The weird part is that she finally gets back to feeling better and we just have to repeat it. So back into the cycle we go.

We start Round #3 of Chemo this Thursday, a 3 day hospital stay. She gets Etopocide again which is the Chemotherapy that made her really miserable the 1st round. She would start SCREAMING the minute it got into her system, they had to give her benadryl to calm her down. My poor poor sweet girl, she just doesn't deserve any of this.

The hard part is enjoying her being a baby. We LOVED LOVED LOVED Jillian when she was a baby, every little milestone she hit we celebrated. And It's not that we don't love Mallory as a baby, we just wish the next 2 months away, not because of her. Just because of what she has to go through, what she has to put up with, what she has to fight. It's been hard, she doesn't sleep good, she doesn't eat good, and she just has really bad days. As a parent that's hard to watch, and I wish it away. I am obsessed with her pig pudgy cheeks, and her round bald noggin, and her chunky thighs. Seriously she could make anyone even on there darkest days smile. How can you not smile when you look at her? She has the strength of a full grown woman (I was gonna say Man but we all know how they are deep down, wussies! Especially when they get a cold!).

So Proud of my Little Girl, SO SO PROUD!