Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Today was a GOOD day

We spent majority of our day being lazy bums. Mallory slept on me for a great deal of the day (feeling pretty crummy from chemo) and Jillian danced, sang, and just goofed off. All 3 of us ended up taking a 3 hour nap, Jillian and I took a shower (we combine them in this house because either way Jillian will somehow end up in the bathtub, with or without clothes, my choice hahahaha!) Ohhhh and I actually had enough energy to MAKE dinner! GO ME! Ryan mowed the lawn and got the car washed too, where oh where has this energy come from all of a sudden?

Mallory is working on getting her 2 front teeth too :-) I see them coming and I can't wait! She also sat up for like 1 minute long yesterday with the help of the hospital couch (the pictures from the last post), she's starting to push up on her arms here and there too! She is getting there and I am SO SO SO proud of her.

Jillian also learned how to "HI PIE" today! (High Five!). She ate 3 potato chips for dinner, I mean really who likes potato salad, stuffing, subs, sweet potato's when there's chips around! Stinker :-p

Tomorrow is a CRAZY busy day for us, between clinic, therapy, eye doctor, plus a Celebrating More Birthday's fundraiser later in the evening we are PACKED.

Ryan is taking Mal to clinic, hopefully she won't have to have any transfusions so that he can just get her blood drawn, wait an hour, and make it home and back to work before noon. My Mom is sitting with Jillian at my house while I run to therapy and the eye doctor (my lovely lenses are cracking and I'm getting an exam as well)

I start therapy, let's see paper work is filled out.
Angry Outbursts (CHECK)
Anxious feelings (CHECK)
Grief / Loss (CHECK)
Mood shifts (CHECK)
Insomnia (CHECK)
Panic Attacks (CHECK)

I think I checked half the list off, ohh the joys of being an Oncology Mom.

Although Mallory has finished her chemo and we are celebrating this HUGE milestone, relapse scares the CRAP out of me. We have to go to continuous apt's to check her catacholomines, and have scans for years before she is deemed "cured", each year that goes by her chances of relapse go down and down. I want to be able to enjoy the rest of her first year without the constant fear in the back of my mind that this is a small possibility. Mal's neuroblastoma threw the doctors for a loop even, double adrenal gland tumors, non responsive to standard protocol, spread to the liver, and her age makes it hard to diagnose and it's been tough to treat. I just need to breathe, enjoy each day, and get through it. At the end of the day what is the most important is our family. Hopefully we can go back to living normal life, it'll be a change that's for sure, an adjustment.

It feels great to be home, to snuggle the girls, laugh with Ryan, and just enjoy our time together. Something I am totally looking forward to this summer. Cookouts, swimming, and just doing nothing besides chasing around the girls.