Wednesday, March 20, 2013


I have been overcome with so many emotions as we approach May.

This little girl has grown, she has grown so much. She is no longer our bald, tiny, helpless baby. (My husband has to remind me from time to time that she is NOT in fact a baby anymore.)

This Saturday we celebrate her turning 1 1/2 years old. A blessing last year we weren't so sure we'd make it to see that could have turned so quickly.

But we are pleased to announce Mallory aced her last scans, her urine counts are normal, her tumor is stable, and their is no active neuroblastoma in her tiny body. She has 1 more scans in May and then we go back in November for her 6 month check. Ohhh Lord I can see the end even if it's still 2 years away, I can see it. Please let us get there. Let us finish this race with Mallory in the lead. 

We hold so much hope that this will always be the case and in a little less than 2.5 years she will be deemed cured from this.

She only takes SSKI drops for scans now, is on no daily medications, and is thriving. She is our sweet little Mighty Mallory.

Today I was reminded of how just special this girl is, as I was cleaning she had walked over to me, held up her arms and I picked her up and she laid her head on my shoulder and we danced. Her sweet eyes staring into mine with so much light, so much life, she gave me a sweet smile and chatted about "ohh de be da boos". I melted. This little girl has so much fight and so much grace. She simply doesn't complain about anything, she just got her last set of baby teeth (minus the 2 year molars) without a sound, no drooling, nothing. She does get mad at Jillian stealing toys from her, but those are little things. Actually lets be honest lots of things are just little bumps in the road now.

Ours lives are pretty boring, pretty dull, pretty normal, and I am so thankful that this blog has fizzled. God has given us a lifetime of lessons in a short 6 month time span, and for that lesson I am eternally grateful. I no longer dwell on the "what if's", I no longer dream of my burring my daughter, my thoughts and fears have been put aside. I have no control of the what if's, all I have control over is making sure my daughters are happy and healthy, and that we continue to make it through everyday. We have rough days, but no longer bad days, we have peace, sweet sweet peace. The tide has rested. We have not let our guard down but our fears no longer consume us. We are aware of them, they are there but they don't have us anymore.

We always pray for health, good good health. We will never take it for granted again.

I am so thankful for my wonderful husband, my best friend. Who has held me close, learned to forgive, and has given me more joy than I've ever had. He is my rock, he shelters us, and you sent this amazing man into my life to walk with me through this journey of life. Through the Good Times and Bad, In Sickness and in Health. This journey has given us strength far beyond what we could have imagined a year ago.

Thank you for my two beautiful daughters who amaze us everyday. I never imagined my heart could get this big, that everything about them brings me pure joy.

From the silly moments of Jillian. She is currently convinced she is a mermaid, if it wasn't for the fact that she has 2 legs I might believe it. <3 She turned 3 on December 30th, along with this age comes a whole slew of hilarious and funny things. I am amazed everyday at how she is evolving and it never ceases to amaze me.

Mallory is almost 1.5, and with this age I found with Jillian was a bit more complicated but the silly thing is i'm not sure if it's because she's my 2nd child or if she really just is so easy going but so far this 1-2 age has been cake with her. She just started walking this past month. She is a tiny peanut 21 pounds, 30 inches tall. The thighs and chubby cheeks throw everyone off :-) She is beyond beautiful and her graceful personality shows through everyday, I am so blessed to watch her on this journey and to develop into a tiny human. I am humbled by her sweet personality because she has been through so much and yet amazes us everyday. She's come so far! Our whole family has, God's light continues to shine through us.

God Bless All of you for your prayers, encouragement, and everything you've done for our family. We wouldn't be here standing with solid feet on the ground without you. Thank you for allowing this blog to fizzle away.