Monday, November 26, 2012

Scan Week

Hello Scan Week, once again we meet.

It seems like I am less and less worried about these, the tests themselves. Not the results, those I quiet frankly will be a wreck about until we are finally finished with them all together.

Scan Week Goes like this:
Monday : SSKI Drops x3 a day. Which Equals One Squirmy Wormy little 1 year old because they taste ICKY.

Tuesday: More Yucky SSKI drops 3x a day.
Liver Ultrasound, please take the nearest one year old and hold them down for 30-45 minutes, it's really easy I swear. (Ohh and Starve them of their Morning bottle, always good times)
Then head up to clinic where they will put in our sweet peanuts IV for her MIBG injection. Only to have the IV take more time than the injection itself. We even get to go into a room with a radioactive sign on the door, pretty fantastic.
Then take little girl's IV out and go about the rest of our day changing diapers with gloves on (gotta protect my little eggs in case we ever want baby #3)

Wednesday: SSKI drops 3x a day

Pray and Pray some more that Miss Mallory sleeps in so that we can escape the hungry giant of a kid, who not only gets to miss her morning bottle but gets to skip lunch as well. Then we head to clinic where the administer ANOTHER iv in her poor sweet hand.

Then its off to sedation where I hope we get the fabulous doctor that we had last time (which all of them have been really great) but the last time they let us hold her while the administered her lovely propofol (that amazing white milky stuff they inject you with to give you an amazing nap) and she goes into a deep sleep for around 45 to an hour while they scan her little body. Which usually equals no nap for the rest of the day but usually she's back to normal before we know it, being cute sweet miss mallory.

Thursday : SSKI drops 3x a day
This is where we WAIT, and WAIT, and WAIT for the doctor to call us with the results. Usually they don't so by 4:30 I'm on the phone like a hysterical mess crying my eyes out begging for some answers. And Praying all day that it comes back with NO MIBG take up, meaning they're are no changes in her tumor size, that everything is just how it should be. She had the LOWEST numbers we have seen yet, so with many good prayers going in, I am praying that this means we will have a normal Holiday season this year.

Friday: SSKI drops 3x a day.
With hopefully nothing to worry about but what we're going to eat for breakfast.

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Thankfully Thankful

It's November, this time last year we were putzing along with our beautiful "New-er" baby, she was sweet, she had a small squeak, and she was so perfect.

Well this Month we've got a lot to be thankful for.

I don't have the answers for WHY Mallory got cancer, I will never know why she was chosen to be that kid. But we are almost 1 year into this crazy roller coaster ride. There have been terrible times, their have been times where we just hit rock bottom and couldn't keep going on, and their where times when we laughed hysterically at our "radioactive baby", this road has downright SUCKED, but we're still walking, we're still here, we're grateful. 

I am thankful that Mallory was diagnosed with Neuroblastoma, not because she got cancer but because there are so many things we've learned and so many friends we've made, it's opened our eyes.

There are so many horrible cancers out there that are far worse, that have no cure rates or very low survival rates, that you can only delay death by years, a few months or weeks. As for Neuroblastoma, we are blessed because she was diagnosed so young, it gives her a 85-90% cure rate, it's that 10-15% that creeps up all the time we pray all the time that she never falls into that category. But for this we are thankful.

I am thankful she was diagnosed this year, in 1960 she would have no chance. I am thankful for modern medicine and the advancements it has made.

I am thankful that we have such an amazing pediatrician who found that lump and sent us for an ultrasound. For never having a patient with Neuroblastoma before we give him many many thanks. Thanks for being a GREAT doctor.

Thanks to all of the wonderful Nurses & Techs who made us laugh, who shared their own personal stories, who cried with us, who still light up when they see Miss Mallory. You guys have a tough job, one that I could never do, Thanks for doing it! We would have fared worse without you.

Thanks to the Doctors who have put up with me, I am demanding, but you truly mean the world to us. Without you, Mallory wouldn't be here today, she certainty wouldn't be thriving as well without you.

I am beyond thankful for the last year, I am thankful for cancer for opening my eyes, for teaching me things I never should know, for teaching me patience, for teaching me that each and every day is a blessing and it is so very precious. That life is not guaranteed.

I am thankful for my 2 beautiful daughters, who have only had to worry about being little girls the last 6 months, I am thankful that they get to run around, that I get to give them baths, smell their heads and tuck them in at night. I am so thankful I get to tuck them both in. They have changed my life. I was a good Mom before, but I am an AMAZING mother now, one with a lot more patience and a lot more gratitude.

I am thankful that Mal's HVA/VMA numbers came back normal this time.

I am thankful for all the silly goofy moments in life, they are the ones that are truly special. For all the little quirks my kids have.

I am thankful for 3 years ago I was walking around blissfully pregnant with our first daughter, she changed our lives.

I am thankful for my Parents, for being my rock. For allowing me to be just me and for accepting and loving the person that I am.

I am thankful for my Sister and Brother, who at times I cannot stand, but they have always been on the sidelines cheering me on. Thanks Guys! I hope you know that I'd go to the end of the world to help you out as well.

I am thankful for Ryan's Family, I am especially thankful for the fact that they are amazing in-law family to have. Some people don't get so lucky. I am thankful that through our struggles they have been nothing but supportive of us. That these moments have only brought us closer.

I am thankful especially for Ryan's Mom, who has nothing but an upbeat positive attitude, even when I am having a bad day she just gives me so much hope. She raised 3 amazing boys and I take her advice and apply it to my own life because I can only hope to have 2 amazing children who are just as great as her own. Thanks Bonnie, I just adore you and am so lucky to have you in my life.

I am thankful for my best friend Mickelle, who listens, who allows me to vent, who I can truly be myself around. Without a doubt is one of the most important people in my life. Thanks bestie for being AMAZING and QUIRKY! I just love you.

I am thankful for my almost 2 year friendship with Erika. For standing by us through everything, for allowing me to be a part of your life. For too listening, allowing me to vent, and who lets me be me. I am so happy I've gotten to know you and your beautiful family. You mean the world to me.

I am thankful we get to spend this Christmas just being normal, doing normal things, and loving every minute of it. So so so Thankful!

I am just thankful, thankful, thankful this month. We've got the world in our hand and we are just making the best of what we got, and that's a lot of stuff.