Saturday, April 14, 2012

When you fight you fight HARD

I have so many things to be thankful for.

#1 is my WONDEFUL amazingly beautiful daughters. They have taught me so much, they have given me the will to keep going every single day. They are worth every tear, every ounce of energy I have, and I am forever greatful for the joy they bring to my life.

#2 is my AMAZING incredible significant other Ryan. Things have not been easy, and even though we have a lot of things to work on we keep going. He keeps going, he never gives up, and he has more faith in me than I think I do sometimes. So as much as this last week has hurt both of us, in the end it taught me a huge VALUABLE  lesson to never take for grantated a single day I get to spend with him. Relationships don't just work on there own, you have to fight to keep them alive, to keep going, and a lot of the time it's not the easiest path. But that boy I may bitch about so much about at times has been the biggest part of my life the almost 7 years we've been together and I am not letting him go. Even if it means re-evaluating our relationship, working on the weaknesses, and crawling through mud, I'm not giving up.

#3 my dedicated parents. They have been there through EVERYTHING, they have picked me up off the floor, listened to me complain, supported me, and taken care of not only me but my girls whenever we have needed them. For this I can never repay, I can only hope to mean as much to my daughters as they do to me.

#4 to all the wonderful people that have helped us in tough times. With your words of encouragement, your prayers, your cards, your calls, the gifts, every little thing has been noticed. Without you guys we wouldn't have made it this far, To every person that has helped us, You MEAN THE WORLD TO OUR FAMILY!

#5 to every kid that is fighting this terrible thing called "cancer". You are MY Heros! You do it with such dignity and grace, something I know that I would never have if I had to be in your shoes. To all the wonderful kids that have touched my life and even those I have never met or who are no longer with us we love you all dearly and will never stop fighting to find a cure for you all.

There are many things I feel very blessed for, more than I could ever write down. I wish I could write a list of every person who has ever said a prayer for us but we hit 100,000 viewers on our blog and that's just a lot of names to people that I will forever be grateful for.

I am feeling at peace tonight, I am sleeping in our house, in our bed, with my 2 year old in the room next to me. I know Ryan is having a wonderful night with Miss Mallory. She only has 2 more chemo rounds left and in 3 weeks we will have all the pieces of the puzzle put together and a better indication of where to go from here. This should be her last round of chemo. Her catacholomines where slightly elevated before this round of chemo but it could be because of "diet". There is a long list of foods that you are supposed to avoid before this test and we did not ever get the list since she just really started eating solids. So in 3 weeks when they re-run the numbers she will be on a "formula" only diet so that hopefully we will get better numbers. We should hopefully have dates set for her MIBG, CT, and ultrasound of her liver by Tuesday (the day we get discharged from the hospital). So we are going to need all the prayers we can get leading up to these scans.

I am looking forward to my 1st therapist appointment on Thursday, hopefully I will learn some new coping mechanisms before we get closer to scan times. Last time she had scans I was getting physically ill from all the stress of them.

The ladies from Baby center raised 3,031$ to pay for Mallory's ALK test. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU! One more thing that we don't have to worry about because of a very generous random act of kindness. You Ladies are once again AMAZING! THANK YOU FOR YOUR SUPPORT!

We love you all, good night!