Thursday, February 9, 2012

What does Cancer Mean?

It means getting down on our knees everyday and praying.
It means that it makes our daughter very sick.
It means no longer being selfish.
It means being away from our 2 year old.
It means spending more time in a hospital than at home.
It means having bad days.
It means having good days.
It means accepting things that we cannot change.
It means relying on others to get us through this.
It means having faith and keeping faith.
It means watching our daughter suffering.
It means waiting. Lots and lots of waiting.
It means being part of the oncology family.
It means fighting.
It means focusing all of our energy on our daughters healing.
It means that we have to take time outs.
It means that we have to have faith in her doctors.
It means crying.
It means laughing.

Cancer does not only affect our child, it affects our whole family. It affects our relationship as a couple. It affects our Jillian. It is something that we have accepted, we are ready in a moments notice to do anything for our daughter. It has become our life. As much as we try not to let it, it does. She is worth every penny, she is worth every tear, she is worth every moment. We planned for this baby girl, we planned on having her, and we will keep fighting everyday for her. To see another smile, get another cuddle, kiss her everyday., in the end all of the stress, the heartache, the anxiety, the sleepless nights, they are all worth it.


  1. Ryan and Ashley,

    First I want to say that you two are incredible people. My daughter Lexi was born just 4 weeks before Mallory so in some weird way I feel a connection with her. It takes a lot to inspire a stubborn guy like me and you guys have inspired me in spades. I plan on going to your blood drive (my family lives in Grandville) and spreading the word about Mallory all over the net (I am a web developer so I have lots of lots of friends to share this with)!

    Keep on keeping us posted with updates and remember that you have tons of fellow mothers and fathers pulling for you and your family!

  2. You are an amazing mother! You daughters are blessed yo have you and your fiance as parents! Prayers prayers prayers!